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And in other news, Black Velvet Enterprises has lost several key contracts in what top management says were unintended linguistic "flubs". Combined with the "Sad Girl" DVD series, it is expected that the business conglomerate will be in the red for the first time in its history.

And for our main story tonight, Downtown Domino has been experiencing odd winds and power brownouts since this afternoon. Engineers and Officials remain baffled and the cause is unknown, as the weather is not expected to turn into a Typhoon...

Next up, Placido has been announced as Sexiest Man Alive by People Magazine. His unique style and dashing looks have been cited as a key reason...